I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
