Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
