as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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