it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
4 words: hood of his car
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
