I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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