We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
