btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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