My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
My vagina just clenched in fear
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
