kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
