I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
