I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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