There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
