Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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