I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You dont lie about slip and slides
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
