Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize