You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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