I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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