ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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