There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize