Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
