So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
