So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
