i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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