can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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