Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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