The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
