hell yes lets make some ravioli
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
