I think scott just propositioned me for sex
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize