i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
