so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
