i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
