Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
