Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
