I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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