Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize