whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
