Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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