I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
