She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
