Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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