So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
so let's talk penis.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
