The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
