no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
