I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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