he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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