whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
