she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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