Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I supernannyed him into submission
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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