We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize