No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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