I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize