She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
