if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
