Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
