I only kidnapped one of them. chill
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My ass is underappreciated
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
