was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
