We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize