That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
