loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
