Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
