I swear she didn't look like that last week.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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