just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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