My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I'm bleeding and have questions
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
