Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
