i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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