You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize