I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
