Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
