she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
