Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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