What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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