we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
