rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
