I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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