ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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