So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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