id be glad to
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
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