Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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